Coachella 2012 Preview

By theajaysharma

Just in time for the festival, I've finished my "one-line review" of all the bands.  I'm an old man now so I don't have time to keep up with all the junk the kids are listening to these days.  But I like to go through the Coachella bands and try to get a feel for what's out there

Methodology:   search for "<artist name> youtube" in google and judge the band on the first link to a youtube video.  Not their channel page or anything else, the first youtube video link.  So I just did "Radiohead Youtube", I'd have to decide to see Radiohead based on "Lotus Flower".  Bleh.  As you can see, my system has it's flaws, but it is a quick and dirty way to check out all the bands that are playing Coachella.

Note:  I have no idea why I threw out as much profanity as I did.  I really need to expand my vocabulary.

Alesso Dynamite (Original Mix) A pretty dope house track. I dig it.
Afrojack Take Over Control (Official Radio Mix) crap vocals, crap dubstep shit, so generic sounds like it should be playing in a "hip" clothing store in the mall.
Amon Tobin 'ISAM' Live : Mutek Premiere Interesting electronic music, certainly worth checking out this ISAM live performance. Really kicks DJ Shadowsphere in the balls.
Arctic Monkeys Leave Before The Lights Come On One of the many bands that were over-hyped when they came out as the next big thing, so I went running. Who do they think they are, Suede?!? C'mon now. (Suede is one of the few bands that were over hyped when I was a kid and I actually jumped on board. so the hyping does work but I'm no longer 16 so I'm out of the target demographic where that shit works). Anyway, these guys sound very generic and boring to me. But maybe to a 16 year old they sound fresh and exciting because they never heard of the Strokes or early Oasis or the decades of music earlier that sounds exactly like this. (I write more when I don't like something, which is why I'll never consider myself a "writer").
Atari Teenage Riot Revolution Action Bleh. Just a bunch of idiots yelling. I think my brother liked these guys, but I think he just though the girl was cute. :)
Breakbot Baby I'm Yours (feat. Irfane) Oh shit, we're bringing disco back!
Datsik Nuke 'Em I hate this fuckin' music.
Dawes When My Time Comes More of this folk-indie stuff (ala Mumford and Sons). It's not bad, I just don't ever WANT to hear this.
Death Grips Guillotine (It goes Yah) Wat the fuck did I just watch?
EMA Milkman The first hit was for "California" which I heard before when a friend tried to convince me that EMA is great. I disagreed. So I wanted to see another video by them, yeah, still awful. I still may check them out to catch the "live" experience and maybe they are a great live band.
Explosions in the Sky Your Hand in Mine You'll love these guys if you like the tv show Friday Night Lights. :) Seriously though, I saw them at Coachella several years ago and they blew me away, I'm really looking forward to their performance.
Feed Me Blood Red Ok. Let's make about a minute and a half of some need electronic music and then let's shit all over it with some more dubstep crap. This might be the first year that I don't go anywhere near the Saraha Tent. :(
Frank Ocean There Will Be Tears I don't know why this music isn't my "style", but I'm digging it. Yeah, fuck "styles" or "genres". If it's good, it's good.
Girls Lust For Life Crap. Do not google "youtube girls", change it to "youtube girls band". First hit is their super hit, "Lust For Life" which is a great pop song. They have a new album "Father, Son, HOly Ghost" which is supposed to be really good, I'll be checkin' them out.
Givers Up Up Up Hater Ajay: "Hey, let's make some boring geneirc indie pop shit but make sure we have a cute girl playing drums front and center so we can get the attention!" Normal Ajay: It's really not that bad, kinda fun and probably worth checking out. Yes, hater Ajay annoys me too.
Hello Seahorse Won't Say Anything Catchy and fun. I think these guys are worth checkin' out.
Honeyhoney Little Toy Gun This track is kinda cute and fun. I listened to some others and it's way too country/western-ish for me.
James Laid (live) I should try to avoid live videos too but this was too fantastic to skip. I'm looking forward to seeing these guys.
Jimmy Cliff with Tim Armstrong and the Engine Band Guns of Brixton Ska & Reggae legend teamed up with a guy from Rancid. Nope.
Kendrick Lamar Compton State Of Mind Amusing spoof of that other super popular Jay-Z track. This guy is a serious rapper though, right on.
LA Riots - Google was not my friend here. Dug around and found this poor quality video. On a basic level, I like techno with horns so this might be ok. But you can't really tell a whole lot from this video.
M. Ward Chinese Translation I only know M.Ward for being 1/2 of 'She & Him'. He sounds like a fine singer/songwriter.
m83 We Own the Sky These guys are pretty amazing. Looking forward to their show.
madeon Shuriken This is like a Daft Punk - Discovery-era b-side. And I'm not saying that in a bad way. (oh yeah, check this shit out)
madness Our House Who doesn't love fuckin' Our House by Madness? Problem is tracks like Baggy Trousers. Ugg... 
mazzy star Fade Into You Again, who doesn't love this song?
mea promo 2012 A blonde girl that DJ's. The music sounds a little generic and boring.
neon indian Polish Girl Very electro-ish, I've seen the name of these guys for years but have never heard them. They sound alright so it looks like 2012 is the year that I finally listen to Neon Indian!
other lives Black Tables Oh fuckin' sad sad music.
pulp Common People Haven't seen these guys since they opened up for Blur in '94. Oh yeah, that was THE britpop tour of the decade: Pulp and Blur (on their Parklife tour).
r3hab Rock This Place (Original Mix) When I think of shitty techno, this is what I imagine.
refused New Noise I wonder if they could maintain the energy that they somehow convey in this video. This screamy shit isn't my thing but I'd still be interested in seeing them.
sebastian Embody Good video, more daft punk sounding music.
swedish house mafia Save The World Boring "arena techno" crap that's safe to play on the radio.
the black angels Sniper at the Gates of Heaven I love this trippy shit. From Youtube: "The Doors, Jefferson Airplane, and Sabbath all took some acid and had a threesome and the Black Angels were born"
the black keys Tighten Up These guys will always be the crappy version of Cold War Kids.
the deer hunter Too Late (Violet) Really?!? Not bad, don't hear anything AMAZING, but I rarely do on the first listen.
the horrors Still Life Let's just be clear, these guys are fuckin' amazing.
the rapture Echoes This is just all kinds of awful.
the sheepdogs I Don't Know Keeping that old '70 rock alive. FREEBIRD!
wallpaper #STUPiDFACEDD FUCK everything about this
wolfgang Back To Back Not a fan of the vocals, but I dig the music. I think these guys are worth checkin' out.
wu lyf Split It Concrete Like The Colden Sun God From Youtube: "Today I read that "the best way to describe his vocals is as if At the Drive In and Grizzly Bear got together and traded jobs for a day" . Hell yes!"
ximena sarinana Volare The Spanish Adele, yeah, I'm being dorky. This is alright and she's super cute.
yuck Georgia Sounds very similar to other classic indie bands, but hey, who doesn't love that fuckin' sound? Might be worth checking out.
A$AP Rock Peso Not really my style, but I gotta admit that I dig the music.
Andrew Bird A Nervous Tic Motion... I get the feeling that Andrew Bird is someone that I should've seen LONG before Coachella 2012. I suck.
AWOLNATION Sail Oh crap, people at my office were playing this over and over. Gotta say it's catchy, but in a way that I'm embarassed to admit.
Azealia Banks L8R I do not like the music. Actually, there seems to be a complete lack of music, just a really crap drum beat.
Black Lips Bad Kids Amusing video, but no.
Bon Iver Flume Shit, everyone loves Bon Iver. I just can't get into it AT ALL.
Borgore Guided Relaxation Dub FUCK YOU DUBSTEP. FUCK YOU.
Buzzcocks What do I get I'm an idiot because I just know these guys from the punk kids at school wearing the shirts. :)
Childish Gambino Freaks And Geeks Another "I'm old" post, I first thought this was going to be funny since Donald Glover is pretty funny on Community. But nope, he's a serious rapper.
David Guetta When Love Takes Over More boring PG electronic music with the diva vocals, no thanks.
Destroyer Kaputt This is kinda M83-ish, not bad. Very easy-listening.
Destructo "Destructo opening it up for deadmau5" This is all we get... Can't tell if it's any good.
Dragonette I get Around Super pop-y and kinda shitty.
Feist 1234 This track is still great.
fIREHOSE Brave Captain I know people are excited about these guys reuniting, not me.
Flying Lotus MmmHmm So this is where Thom Yorke is getting the new Radiohead sound.
Gary Clark Jr. Don't Owe You A Thing This is pretty bad-ass right here.
Godspeed You! Black Emperor Sleep Is everyone ready for their 1-song set? Godspeed is amazing.
Grace Potter and the Nocturnals Treat Me Right We're in the middle of some massive classic rock resurgence. I have no problem with this.
Grouplove Colours These guys seem fun like Arcade Fire fun. Yeah, I'm digging this now.
Jacques Lu Cont Eurolove Bad techno. And bad as in not good.
Jeff Mangum Oh Comely I know. I love indie rock and am somehow NOT a fan of Neutral Milk Hotel.
Kaiser Chiefs Ruby These guys always seemed like Oasis lite.
Kasabian Underdog Looking forward to their set. I haven't seen them since they toured off the first album.
Kaskade 4 AM This is a pretty wonderful house track. I should see Kaskade this time.
Keep Shelly in Athens Running Out Of You Not really digging this track, but I heard some others that were ok. YEAH, so what, I can bend the rules!
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang - I have no idea... All my google searches didn't come up with anything.
Laura Marling A Creature I Don't Know This singer/songwriter style is not for me.
Manchester Orchestra Simple Math Kinda generic. *could* be ok... but probably not.
Martin Solveig Hello I'm enjoying this song, it's poppy and fun.
Miike Snow Animal You have to be living under a rock if you haven't heard this track. I'd give it a go..
Mt Eden Let Go What? Dubstep that actually has some rhythm? Nice.
Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds Death of you and me I'm going to see him do classic Oasis songs.
Pure Filth Sound n/a A dubstep club that started in a downtown LA basement.
Radiohead House of Cards It's fuckin' Radiohead, c'mon now.
SBTRKT Pharaohs Not bad. Kinda house-y.
Sebastian Ingrosso Calling Right on the border of boring/fun electronic music. I'm in a good mood, so I'm going to go with fun!
Squeeze Black Coffee In Bed Holy shit, this video is an awesome trip to the 80's. I was never "into" Squeeze, but they have enough great tracks that they're worth seeing.
St. Vincent Jesus Saves, I Spend I saw her a couple of times when she toured for Actor. She puts on a fantastic show so I'm looking forward to it.
Sub Focus Rock It Umm.. Have I missed something about Drum n' Bass? I remember all DnB being shit. I left this on in the background and it was alright. Even some of their other songs are pretty good.
Suedehead Can't Stop Filter passed the Morrissey videos and found this one. I must be in a good fuckin' mood because even this is fantastic. The beat, the poppiness of it all, yeah, I'm down with this.
The Big Pink Dominos Yeah, this is just a fantastic song. Their first album is good, not sure about the second, I'll be seeing them on Saturday.
The Head and the Heart Lost in my Mind Ugg... more indie-country shit. Some I love, most I hate.
The Shins Phantom Limb I like this video and this song. I like the Shins, I feel they're an example of the indie-country-ish style that's actually good.
The Vaccines Post Break-Up Sex Pretty generic but mildly catchy. If nothing else is on, I'd check 'em out.
Tijuana Panthers Summer Fun Meh. Catchy but not much else.
tUnE-yArDs Bizness I don't get this. The music and vocals are AWFUL. A friend said it's worth seeing live though, so I'll stop by if I can. But I really hate this shit.
We are Augustines Chapel Song This song sounds interesting, some of the other videos I saw make it sound like crap indie-country. Will give it go.
We Were Promised Jetpacks Quiet Little Voices I really enjoy this song and this band. Hopefully their live show is as good as I imagine it will be. :)
Zeds Dead White Satin NO. FUCK YOU DUBSTEP.
AraabMUZIK FLIPPIN A BEAT Some dood pushing buttons, it's pretty awesome though. Seriously though, check out the last 20 seconds of the video.
At The Drive-In Quarantined
AVICII Penguin Electronic music with a piano. This sounds alright to my ears, worth checking out IMO.
Band of Skulls I Know What I Am This is a prety fun track, sounds very familiar though, can't quite place it. I'd check them out.
Beats Antique live at Bonnaroo 2011 I guess their thing is bellydancers on stage. meh
Beirut Nantes This guy has an interesting voice plus it sounds like he's singing on top of the Amelie soundtrack (I know he's not)
Calvin Harris Feel So Close This is one of those simple songs that sounds good. Can't explain it. Should be boring and generic, but it's not. Really, people should ignore music reviewers, no one can explain why shit is good vs. bad.
Company Flow End to End Burners Nope. Not my thing, although I dig the music.
Dada Life Unleash The Fucking Dada Great video. Nearly distracted me from the music. It seemed a little dubstep-y, but had an actual beat/rhythm/melody so I could get into it.
DJ Shadow Midnight in a Perfect World I'm so glad this is the first video that comes up for Shadow, such a classic.
Dr. Dre & Snoop Dogg Nuthin' But A G Thang Hip-hop isn't my thing but you can't not dig this track.
Fanfarlo Outsiders Acoustic indie stuff, kinda like Clap Your Hands or Fleet Foxes-ish. Not great, but certainly not horrible.
First Aid Kit The Lion's Roar Cranberry's 2012.
Fitz and the Tantrums MoneyGrabber This sounds very 80's to me, and I fuckin' love the 80's.
Florence and the Machine Shake It Out The ad during this video was for a Janis Joplin giveaway. Nice work google. I was trying to figure out if Florence is AMAZING, or just over-the-top dramatic. I eventually decided on over-the-top dramatic.
Flux Pavilion & Dr. P 4 minute track? Nope, try a 120-minute mix. Unfortunately it's dupstep, so no thanks.  
Gardens & Villa Black Hills Kinda blah, but not horrible.
Girl Talk Touch 2 Feel I'm going to say, "extreme mash up", since the samples are so tight that nothing actually developes into a listenable track.
Gotye Somebody That I Used To Know Seriously this guy could've just put some ads on this video and retired, 150+ million views. This is a great song and a great video.
Greg Ginn and The Royal We Gilded Entry Seems like some 70s experiement or something. Should be interesting live.
Housse de Racket Oh Yeah This is pretty boring.
Justice Genesis There are other more popular Justice tracks, but this is pretty fantastic. Easily a day 3 highlight for me.
Le Butcherettes Henry Don't Got Love I think there's more "shock" then actual song here. It could be okay but it seems like a shitty version of Giant Drag.
Lissie When I'm Alone Meh.
Metronomy The Look Opening for Coldplay, yeah, this is even more boring and will fit right in.
Modeselektor Black Block Not my style of techno.
Morgan Page In the Air Generic boring techno. Techno for top 40.
Nero Innocence build Build BUILD WUB WUB WUB NO NO NO NOPE!
NOISIΛ Machine Gun This has an old school industrial vibe to it. Not bad.
Oberhofer Dead Girls Dance Not digging this.
Porter Robinson Say My Name Chunky techno. nope.
Real Estate Beach Comber Standard Indie. Could develop into more, we'll see...
Santigold Santigold Jeeze, I always thought this Santigold was hip hop for some reason. First time listening to her, it's not bad. A little generic-y, but could be more if I had more time to give (which I will)
Seun Kuti & Egy MOSQUITO SONG Nope.
Sleeper Agent Get It Daddy Oh shit, THIS is generic indie.
Spector Never Fade Away interesting. I'd check them out.
The Airplane Boys Sleep Nope.
The Gaslamp Killer boombox la fun turntablist guy.
The Growlers Little Miss Jack Interesting song, very funky. Going to check them out for sure.
The Hives Hate to Say I Told You So Not a fan and find this boring.
The Weeknd Wicked Games Nope.
Thundercat Is It Love? Too mellow for me.
Wild Beasts All The King's Men Too lame for me. Crap, I heard another song and it was alright. Breakin' the rules might pay off...
Wild Flag Future Crimes Oh shit, the Portlandia girl?!? I'm in. :)
Zedd The Legend Of Zelda A track called "Legend of Zelda"?!? I'm half way there, let's see how this turns out... Oh no. silly dubstep. But this is listenable since I'm heavily bias'ed towards zelda. :)