Okay kids, so it's been like a zillion years since my last column, so I figure it's time to update... the problem is, there, erm..., really isnt anything worthwhile to write about... Ever have one of those months where you become totally disenchated by music? It kinda scares me, to be quite honest... but I really havnt cared about hardly anything that I've heard this year so far... I'm praying that it's simply been a year of crap music, and not the dreaded "MATURITY" that one tends to hear when one approaches 30 years of age. (Of course, I've still got <3> more years of life prior to that, and I have full and total plans to remain immature and stupid for as long as humanly possible.) It's still kinda spooky, though...

I remember a day (a day, hell, i remember a DECADE) when the slightest new music release or music news blurb could throw my entire day off-whack.  I remember going down to the college center en route to a MIDTERM and stopping by the college radio station and finding an advance of "Between 10th and 11th," which at that time in my life was a perfectly justifiable reason to blow off my midterm and quickly compose a heavy day of repeat listening and soul searching.  Now THAT was life...  maybe I need to save up some money, take a couple years off, and pick up a basket weaving class at a local college just to get back on their radio station...  Hoo hah. Can you sense I'm babbling here?  It's just one of those nights.  Bear with me -- maybe I'll make a point or two in here somewhere.  Hrm... turning towards Brit-centric music activities and talk of the past month or two... Oh, before I do that, I've got to announce one thing -- I HATE THE NEW GARBAGE ALBUM.  I think it's an over-produced, formulaic, cheezy piece of poo.  And it's boggling my poor mind that TONS of my friends and fellow Excellent list members are proclaiming its greatness.  I just don't get it. Garbage WERE the American Curve; now Garbage is a revved-up, female-fronted American Jesus Jones, and that's decidedly what the world don't need.  Good pop writing that's ruined by Butch Vig's "I-know-how-to-be-alternative-just-listen" layered uber-production, making the whole thing just as shallow as Pat Boone trying to sound metal... you know what I'D like to hear?  The very first demos of the new Garbage songs. If those tracks were written on an acoustic guitar with some mellow, non-"arse-kicking-girly" vocals, I bet they'd be fantastic.  But that's just me... backlash all you want, I'll defend my stance on this til I'm blue in the face... and speaking of the word "blue," I'm still all ga-ga over the newest Bluetones offering, "Return to the Last Chance Saloon." What IS it about this band that I find so appealing?  It's a hard one to nail down, aye.  You've got Mark's voice, which I consider to be one of the finest in the business (ON RECORD, mind you, yes i HAVE heard the off-key radio sessions, thanks.)  You've got the lyrics, which still remain the most charming in all of the Britpop aftermath.  You've got the guitar work, which admittedly was better on the first album, but this one's got a few nice Marr-isms here and there buried in the mix.  Put it all together and it's a just plain great pop outfit.  I'll be the first to agree with the critics -- no, it's NOT a cohesive album, it bounces from one style to another. (But can't this be blamed on the critics themselves?  Because you know that they couldnt have released another straight-forward pop album or they'd have been caught in the Great Critical Britpop Massacre of 98.)  No, it's NOT as catchy as the first album off the bat.  BUT... "Expecting to Fly" was a more shallow record - it had verses that seemed to float in neutrality and then compensated for it by using some of the hookiest choruses in modern history.  On this record, they're a little more refined structurally, and I think that the songwriting's actually IMPROVED some... it just takes a few listens to really cope with it, that's all.  Hrm... what else have I been listening to?  At this point in time (May,) I'm inclined to put the #1 Record of the Year accolade to (gasp) an American record, namely Money Mark's "Push the Button," which is truly a fresh breath of an album.  I struggled for a couple days for a description, but I finally did it:  Money Mark (who is the Beastie Boy's keyboardist, for those not initiated) = Big Beat Anthems minus the big AND the beats, played by someone on not-so-very-top-of-the-line equipment, interspersed by Elvis Costello singing Boo Radley b-sides.  Or something like that.  I'm still working up a proper review (obviously.)  But the point is: it's fucking great and you should buy it this VERY second... the Space album's still kicking around in my Heavy Rotation as well, which is odd -- I really wish I could hate Space, I've never much liked the idea of a cheeky techno-Pulp, but "Tin Planet" reeeeally has some nice hooks.  Bernard Butler has put himself out an amazing album (though according to a member of our mailing list, it's supposedly crap and is somehow tied into the theory that "shoegazing is shit," the full story of which i'm STILL waiting in avid suspense to hear *haha no offense Dean old chap*)... and lastly, I'm VERY pleased with the new Massive Attack, though I'm quick to call it the worst of their three albums.  But to hear Lis Frazer behind that music is heavenly at worst.  The funny thing is, I distinctly recall telling a friend once that Massive Attack NEEDED to have Lis Frazer sing with them... I think I'll tell that same friend tomorrow that Ride needs to reform...

I'm gonna go, umm, do something else now.  Like I said, I really have nothing to say, other than it was definitely time to update the column and to say thanks for checking out the site... we're just crazy happy with the response we've gotten from it so far.  We've now had over 100 applications for the mailing list since the site launched, and we're averaging 300 or so hits a day to the main page.  I can't thank Ajay enough for all of the time he's put into the look of the thing.  The main page will be changing soon, too, from what he's telling us, so stay tuned... I can't thank Veronica enough for coping with the massive influx of new members to the mailing list, she gets top nods for the month... and I have to thank EVERYONE, list members and beyond, who have linked us from their websites -- already we've received more promotions and publicity than we ever thought possible.  And of course, we vow to maintain the quality that we hope you've come to expect from EXCELLENT ONLINE.  We've got some GRAND things planned for the months to come - should be a good summer.  Cheers to the future.  See you next time.  And I'll have something to say then.  Promise.