In perhaps a story funnier than Europe's "The Final C*ntdown" tale of earlier this month, BOY GEORGE was nearly killed last night... by a GIANT DISCO BALL! The massive 60-pound ball, obviously pushed to the brink of murder-suicide by the horrid reviews of the new CULTURE CLUB record, fell from the ceiling at Bournemouth International Centre as George was soundchecking for a show. The ball missed George's head by mere inches, instead connecting with his shoulder and sending the flamboyant entertainer to the floor. "It would have been both glamorous and ironic to be finished off by a four foot glitter ball," remarked George to reporters as he was being treated for shock and bruises.