Coachella is a mere 4 days away and I decided to do my homework this year and listen to at least one track by every band that's playing.  Below you will find my one-line review of every single artist plus my rating on an A-F scale.  A means I'm going to see them, F means that I hate them with a passion.  Naturally, most fall in the D and C category.  I've been to many Coachella's and this is the first time I've done this and I found some great gems that I probably would've otherwise overlooked.

(Disclaimer:  these aren't proper reviews, most of the time I started playing the track that is listed on the artist profile for a band and made my opinion in the first 30 seconds.  Other times I would check out more songs and then base my judgement.  So take this with a grain of salt and don't make fun of me when I say a band is shit now but the greatest thing ever in 3 months when I've spent more time with them)

FRIDAY

Aeroplane - decent techno B
Alana Grace - whiny pop music, sounds like everything else on top40 radio F
As Tall As Lions - trippy indie. Kinda reminds me of XX.  C+
Baroness - hair metal.  D-
Benny Benassi - Dirty Techno, ala MSTRKRFT.  C+
Calle 13 - 2010's Rico Suave.  F
Ceu - Spanish, amazing voice, kinda dull.  C-
deadmau5 - more dirty techno, mstrkrft, wait, heard more songs, this is really good.
Deer Tick - twangy, indie rock.  C
DJ Lance Rock - The DJ from Yo Gabba Gabba?!?  Looks fun.  B
Echo and the Bunnymen - Naturally coachella.com puts up a link to The Killing Moon.  A
Erol Alkan - that super electro electronic music.  usually not my favorite.  D
Fever Ray - electronic, mellow, odd female vocals, no bueno.  D
Gil Scott-Heron - the dude that wrote, "The Revolution Will Not Be Televised" in the 70's.  B
Grizzly Bear - Fantastic Indie Band.  A+
Hocky - For some reason he sounded like Richard Ashcroft on whatever track that coachella.com linked to.  Listening to other stuff on their myspace page they're not anywhere near Verve.  Kinda Funky, Soul, and fun.  They're alright, but not great.  C
Iglu & Hartly - America's really shitty version of MGMT?  Okay, that's really stretching it, they're just bad.  D
Imogen Heap - interesting sound, not really my thing but may see her if I can.  C+
Jay-Z - It's Jay Fuckin' Z BIATCH!   C+
Jets Overhead - Kinda generic, not *bad*, just not good.  C-
Kate Miller-Heidke - female singer with a piano, generic, boring.  F
La Roux - 80's throwback, THIS is the new MGMT.   D
LCD Soundsystem - I know lots of people love these guys but I can't get into them.  That "Daft Punk is playing at my house" song was mildly amusing, but other then that they suck. D-
Little Dragon - generic, female vocals on top of that mellow electronic beats.  boring.  D
Lucero - rawk, but the vocals sound a little more interesting, kinda kurt cobain-ish.  C
Pablo Hassan - I don't know what sub-genre of techno is this but it's pretty bad.  F
Passion Pit - I have a really good friend that likes this guys and says they're fun dance music, but it just hurts my ears every time.  D
Perry Farrell vs. Steve Porter - Perry Farrell is the staple Coachella DJ and Steve Porter is pretty well known.  The sample is just Steve Porter and it sounds like decent techno.  B-
P.O.S. - Rap isn't my thing but this song is pretty kick ass.  I like the music explosion in the chorus.  B-
Proxy - electro techno.  not my thing.  D+
Public Image Limited - They linked to a documentary about PiL.  I'm looking forward to these guys.  A+
Ra Ra Riot - Saw these guys a few times in supporting slots and they don't impress me.  C-
She & Him - I think they're fantastic, but I may be blinded by the awesomeness of Zoey.  A+
Sleigh Bells - Highly offensive to my ears.  F
Pretty Lights - Guy on keyboards + guy on drums with a bunch of screens showing "pretty lights" behind them.  This techno music is funky but seems a little "simple"...  More funky then simple.  C+
Street Sweeper Social Club - Okay, great name, video started out with some weird guitar shit, I'm down so far.   Super Funky, dig the vocals.  Googled their name, I see now, it's a Tom Morello and Boots Riley "super group".  B+
The Avett Brothers - two guys with bears making that folk country western music.  their video has subtitles so I'm paying attention to the lyrics and now I'm depressed.  C-
The Cribs - indie rock from the uk which is based on american indie rock.  hey!  Johnny Marr's joined the band! C+
The Dillinger Escape Plan - great name, but boring rawk.  F
The Specials - Ska band with a billion hits.  B
The Whitest Boy Alive - Kinda reminds me of the shit that is Vampire Weekend.  D+
Them Crooked Vultures - Rock supergroup with the drummer from Nirvana, the singer from Queens of the Stone Age and the bass player for Led Zeppelin.  The sample that coachella.com was horrible, C-
Vampire Weekend - I dislike this music and don't understand it.  F-
Wale - This awful rap.  F
Wolfgang Gartner - Techno DJ, I like the coachella.com selection of "Wolfgang's V Symphony" which samples Beethoven's 5th.  B
Yeasayer - Kinda reminds me of that new electronic indie stuff, ala Passion Pit.  But they have a better singer (well, one that doesn't hurt my ears) so it's alright.  C+

SATURDAY

2 Many DJ's - I hate the term "mash up", but that's what these guys do and they're good.  A
Aterciopelados - Spanish indie.  not bad.  B-
Bad Lieutenant - new bands with members of New Order.  So it's jingle/jangle New Order.  B
Band of Skulls - rawk.  D
Basenectar - ack.  it's like shit hip hop on top of the BAD apex twin tracks.  F
Beach House - super mellow indie, kinda air-ish.  B-
Camera Obscura - sweet indie, like the The Concretes.  B+
Coheed and Cambria - hair metal.  shit.  F
Corinne Bailey Rae - singer/songwriter.  kinda crappy.  D
Craze & Klever - turntablists.  all scratching... sigh... C-
David Guetta - french house music, guy produces black eye peas...  C+
Devo - umm... it's fuckin' devo.  WHIP IT GOOD!  B
Dirty Projectors - the song that coachella has is pretty crappy, but other tracks are nice singer/songwriter stuff.  C-
Dirty South - house dj's.  D
Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros - I don't agree with their song, "Kisses Over Babylon".  They should've showed their Letterman performance  B-
Faith No More - not really my thing.  D
Flying Lotus - space-y, trippy, hip hop--- wait a sec, there is no one rapping over this so scratch the "hip hop" tag.  It's just space-y, trippy music.   down tempo.  C-
Frank Turner - good ol' irish folky music.  C
Frightened Rabbit - indie, haven't decided if I think it's generic crap or good.  the song that coachella.com selected, "Swim Until You Can't See Land" is alright, I have a feeling that there may be good songs.  B-
GIRLS - They had a track that I heard a bunch, "Lust for Life", and it wasn't an Iggy Pop cover.  It was kinda catchy.  B
Gossip - Diva techno for gay men?  Not my thing.  F
Hot Chip - I've heard some decent stuff from these guys, this track, "Ready for the Floor" is not one of them.  D+
John Waters - The director?  WTF?  Maybe he's doing spoken word?  I'm so curious that I have to see this.  A
Kaskade - techno, don't like the vocals...  C
Les Claypool - ex-Primus frontman, I always enjoy watching him play bass, the music is a little rough some times though.  D+
Major Lazer - god awful auto-tuned shit.  F
MGMT - that first album was great, haven't heard the second yet, but the coachella.com song is good.  B
Muse - Saw them at Coachella a few years ago and it was great.  They put on a great show. (although I hate that "supermassive black hole" song that Coachella.com choose) B
Old Crow Medicine Show - HOT DAMN, IT's THE SOGGY BOTTOM BOYS.  No it's not, but these guys have a banjo, harmonica, and a stand up bass.  So... no.  D
Porcupine Tree - Never heard of these guys.  Wikipedia says they're like "progressive metal"??  I dunno, it sounds alright to me.  B-  Oh no, heard some more and it sounds a little like over-produced crap rock.  Still going to give them a shot though.  C+
Portugal. The Man - Sorta like standard "indie rock", which is right in my wheelhouse.  B
RX Bandits - Wikipedia said they started as a "third wave sky" band in the late 90's.  Remember that scene?  It's where No Doubt came from, yeah, it was pretty awful.  This video started out good but ended up horrible.  D+, nope, a C- because of that trombone.
Shooter Jennings & Hierophant - Again, awesome name...  Indie/Ambient/Metal?  I have no idea what this is, could be an interesting train wreck.  C-
Sia - UK Diva singer.  Not my thing.  F
Steel Train - Blam, starts out with the generic guitar/piano thing.  Had to hear more on their myspace page and it's just that boring.  D
The Almighty Defenders - awful rockabilly stuff.  D-
The Dead Weather - bonus points for NOT having a myspace page.  alt-garage rock with jack white, 'nuff said.  B-
The Raveonettes - these guys are just pleasant.  B-
The Temper Trap - nothing interesting about this band.  your average alt-rock band.  they'll go far.  D
The xx - I love their minimalist sound.  A+
Tiesto - UNCE UNCE UNCE UNCE UNCE UNCE UNCE-THE SYSTEM IS DOWN-UNCE UNCE UNCE.  C+
Tokyo Police Club - don't get it, not my thing, boring indie rock.  D
White Rabbits - lots of passion with these indie kids.  looks like it might be fun to watch.  B-
Z-Trip - Incredible Party DJ.  Known for mixing all genres together for a good time. A+
Zoe - Mexican Alternative/Psychedelic band?  These guys sound great.  A

SUNDAY

BoB - bad rap, nuff said.  F
Babasonicos - Spanish indie.  big sound, a little surfer guitar twang.  C+
Charlotte Gainsbourg - sweet indie, good music.  B+
Club 75 - Cassius & Justice.  Dirty Techno.  B
De La Soul - O-G Hip Hop!  Saw them once at another festival years ago, it was a really fun show.  B
Deerhunter - good ol' indie rock.  B-
Delphic - generic electronic band (ie, nothing really interesting going on here) D+
Florence & The Machine - her voice sounds very familiar but I can't place it.  It's not bad though, good vocals and decent music.  C+
Gary Numan - All I know about him is that Cars song, "Here in my car/I feel safest of all".  C
Gorillaz - Like the singles, but not enough to listen to the albums.  Good catchy songs and I'm very interested in seeing their live show.  B
Hypnotic Brass Ensemble - Very apt title.  Dunno, I'm digging these guys, will probably catch them if I can.  C+
Infected Mushroom - Live electronic band, decent stuff and I've heard good things about these guys.  B-
Jonsi - Lead singer from Sigur Ros.  Yeah, that's all you need to know.  A
Julian Casablancas - Lead singer from the Strokes.  His solo stuff is way more electronic, I don't think it suits him.  C-
Kevin Devine - A little boring, reminds me of the Lemonheads?  Meh,  D+
King Khan & the Shrines - This is some funky insane shit right here.  And there's an Canadian-born Indian guy singing.  I'm so there.  B+
Little Boots - crap pop music.  D-
Local Natives - decent indie band.  looking forward to seeing these guys.  B-
Matt & Kim - ahh, the good ol' strip down video in NYC.  the dude's vocals make my ears hurt though.  D+
Mayer Hawthorne & the County - white guy that sings R&B.  could be entertaining.  C
Miike Snow - ugg..  not sure if this is brilliant or just yet another animal collective knock-off.  D+
MUTEMATH - *slightly* better then the generic alt-rock you hear on the radio.  C
One eskimO - a uk pop singer turned indie.  I think the music is more interesting then most.  B-
Orbital - Electronic Legends.  A+
Owen Pallett - Singer from Final Fantasy but has retired the name.  Runs the violin through a loop pedal which I'm a sucker for.  Will try to see.  B
PAPARAZZI - Fun techno.  C+
Pavement - Indie gods.  B
Phoenix - OOoOOoo... they're from France and sing in English.  Actually they're alright.  B-
Richie Hawtin presents Plastikman Live - Minimalist techno.  Maybe I could find the right state of mind to enjoy this, right now I'm just annoyed that he's getting a longer set then orbital.  D
Rusko - Chunky Electro Techno.  D
Sly Stone - Now this is some funky shit right here.  A
Spoon - these guys are really hit and miss for me.  So I'll try to catch them if I can.  C
Sunny Day Real Estate - some idiots call these guys the first "emo" band.  I hate that term as much as "hipster".  C+
Talvin Singh - Another Indian brother rockin' the dance tent.  I'm in.  B
The Big Pink - That frickin' Dominoes track is so catchy.  The rest of the album is pretty good too.  B
The Glitch Mob - Do they really need all those people to make this techno stuff?  I don't think so.  C+
The Middle East - Belle & Sebastian-like.  They are playing on the second stage, so whatever band is playing on the main stage will blow these guys out of the water.  C-
The Soft Pack - Lots of hype over this indie band... let's see... yeah, as usual it's not worth it.  D.
Thom Yorke - Any radiohead is good radiohead.  A+
Yann Tiersen - Are you kidding me?  The guy who wrote the music behind one of the greatest movies ever, Amelie.  I'm excited.  A+
Yo La Tengo - Saw them  open up for Teenage Fanclub back in '94.  Been a fan ever since.  A+